HUMANLINGS! YOU ALWAYS LAUGH WHEN I SPEAK. THAT IS VERY STRANGE! I DO NOT TELL JOKES. A JOKE IS A FICTIONAL STORY MADE TO MAKE OTHERS GIGGLE. BUT I ONLY SPEAK NAKED FACTS! IF YOU FIND MY SERIOUSNESS AMUSING, YOU ARE SIMPLY WEIRD IN THE HEAD!You always whine about my four hand size. You call it a "weak spot". That is a stupid word. My body has no soft or weak spots! I have two hands. If I take two knives in each hand, that is four! That is perfect logic! Why would I want more cards? I do not possess a third hand! If you need more cards, you probably just have very small, useless hands! I am Drax! Ronan and Thanos slaughtered my family. They cut their throats, and the blood ran into the dust. That is the unvarnished truth. Now I only live to see the guts of my enemies on the floor! My extreme strength is completely enough to crush any villain's scheme like a real, ripe melon! I enter this battle with exactly 40 cards. Each card is made of paper, but I pretend it is a sharp knife. When I hold my real knives, I do not need pockets!You always say I have a "strange way of laughing". But I find it extremely funny when the enemy thinks he can win, and I rip the limbs out of his torso instead! Ha! That is the best humor! There is nothing funnier than screaming opponents lying in their own juices! I pay for my upgrades simply by slamming my fist on the table until they lie flat on the wood! And because my deck is so beautifully thin, my instinct draws my fattest attack, Knife Leap, exactly when the enemy must bleed. The card says it costs 0 resources. Zero means absolutely nothing is there. So I pay with nothing! That is not luck, that is the pure strength of my campaign of vengeance!I DO NOT NEED FRIENDS! THEY ONLY STAND IN THE WAY OF MY BLADES!Human shields are for losers who are afraid of the sweet pain of battle! I do not need anyone blocking my view of the opponent's blood! If someone stands in front of me, I cannot see the villain. That is illogical and makes me angry. I beat every single ally out of this deck myself – except Mantis. She is not a real band-aid made of fabric, she is a person, but she acts like a green band-aid. She inflicts burning pain upon herself to close my gaping wounds while I permanently stay in hero form and grow my vengeance counters! My absolute solitude is my greatest superweapon!Have you seen the new things from the Fear No Evil box? They were forged for the hands of a true warrior! • Ronin wraps me in an unyielding barrier and grants me retaliate 1, but only when I stand completely alone in the ring. A ring is round, but the play area is square. That is confusing, but I strike anyway! And with Stand Alone, I perform an act of absolute dominance: I simply ready myself before the villain's fist even touches me! He swings, yet I stand before him like a mountain of flesh again. Mountains cannot walk, but I can! The fear in his eyes is not a real elixir to drink, but it tastes good anyway!And my most brutal martial art, In Harm's Way, costs me absolutely nothing because no cowardly ally defiles my solitude! I hurl it onto the battlefield, use my monumental defense, and rip 5 damage deep out of the boss's flesh while tearing 5 threat from the scheme with a bone-shattering roar in the exact same breath! I do not know how to grab a threat with my hands, because you cannot hold air, but when I scream loud enough at the paper, the tokens vanish into nothingness!THE VILLAIN ACTUALLY THINKS HE IS ALLOWED TO HIT ME? HOW STUPID IS HE? HE IS JUST RUNNING STRAIGHT INTO HIS OWN GRAVE!When the boss starts his phase, he has basically already signed his own death warrant! He did not use a pen, but he will die anyway! Thanks to the card Innate Reflexes, which by providence is always in my hand before the very first breath of the game (because the holy word Starting burns upon it), and my Armored Vest, I stand in the storm with an unyielding, divine 5 DEF! A storm is only wind, but the villain hits hard!Just by daring to touch my tattooed skin, the boss eats 3 damage for free every single round – reflected through the merciless, double retaliate of • Ronin, Drax's Other Knife, and my Electrostatic Armor, without me having to move a single muscle!And in my phase, the inferno breaks loose! An inferno is a big fire, but nothing is burning here except my wrath! With Payback, I smash 6 damage right back into his face for 0 cost as a direct answer to his pathetic strike! I erase his stupid boost icons with Preemptive Strike, swallow the remaining rest with Deflect down to 0 damage, and draw new power unstoppably thanks to Unshakeable, even though I cannot read! He strikes and bleeds against my chest while my Energy Barrier sucks in every scratch and flings it back at his face like a burning beam!If you dare to fight by my side, I am not your buddy – I am an unyielding wall of flesh and tattoos where the armies of darkness shatter! When you plot cowardly schemes during your turn, I lay the entire universe to ruin during the villain phase! I eat every blow, I laugh at the pain, I shred the enemy's plans, and I prepare the final, world-shattering knockout blow through Army of One and an all-destroying, 11-damage Knife Leap! That is not a theory from a book, that is an absolute, bloody titan-beating!